And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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