doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
