Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
