I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
