The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
