If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
