I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Randomize
