i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
