champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We have started to decorate penises.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
