I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
