just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
