I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
