PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
