My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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