I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
