I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
