just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
