then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
