Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
