Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
