i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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