You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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