Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
