You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
