i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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