you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just had sex bonerless
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
