Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
