hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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