There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
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