CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
