Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
