i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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