Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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