i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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