he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
