well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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