ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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