dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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