If i come over, it means nothing
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
