Kareoke will never be a sober sport
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We had sex on a dog bed..
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
