I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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