I think im going to throw up on grandma
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
