I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
