She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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