Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
