Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
