I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
