Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
