I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I won't apologize to a one balled man
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
