im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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