This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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