I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
