first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
